1 J
I come from Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it’s some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality because I realized that it’s very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming of if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all hope in doing something that contributes to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It’s a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by the reality I was dreaming of – becoming a painter and painting clouds for fifty years and just doing that which we don’t need to discuss. But I think it’s not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
2.1 J
I come from Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it’s some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality because I realized that it’s very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming of if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all hope in doing something that contributes to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It’s a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by the reality I was dreaming of – becoming a painter and painting clouds for fifty years and just doing that which we don’t need to discuss. But I think it’s not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
2.2 J
Words that can function by themselves as a phrase and that refer either to the participants in the discourse or to someone or something mentioned elsewhere in the discourse:
I come from Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it’s some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality, because I realized that it’s very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all the hope in doing something that contribute to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It’s a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by reality I was dreaming of – becoming painter and paint clouds for fifty years and just do that what we don’t need to discuss. But I think it’s not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
2.3 J
Words used to identify any of a class of people, places, or things, or to name a particular one of these:
I come from Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it’s some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality, because I realized that it’s very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all the hope in doing something that contribute to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It’s a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by reality I was
dreaming of – becoming painter and paint clouds for fifty years and just do that what we don’t need to discuss. But I think it’s not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
2.4 J
Word used to describe an action, state, or occurrence, and forming the main part of the predicate of a sentence:
I come Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it is some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality, because I realized that it is very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all the hope in doing something that contributes to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It is a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by reality I was dreaming of – becoming painter and paint clouds for fifty years and just do that what we don’t need to discuss. But I think it is not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
2.5 J
Words governing, and usually preceding, a noun or pronoun and expressing a relation to another words or element in the clause:
I come from Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it’s some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality, because I realized that it’s very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all the hope in doing something that contribute to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It’s a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by reality I was dreaming of – becoming painter and paint clouds for fifty years and just do that what we don’t need to discuss. But I think it’s not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
2.6 J
I come from Colombia. I live in Switzerland. I studied international relations, so it’s some kind of political studies. And then I slowly began to get away from this kind of reality, because I realized that it’s very difficult to change things. I was always dreaming if I could influence people and change people, their way of thinking by my work. But this was not possible and I basically lost all the hope in doing something that contribute to other people’s wellness and improves the quality of life. I was thinking like maybe I should do art to get away from that. It’s a nice shelter – in your own world with your own dreams and you don’t care if the world is falling apart if you have your cave of dreams. Eventually the cave – my space – got invaded by reality I was dreaming of – becoming painter and paint clouds for fifty years and just do that what we don’t need to discuss. But I think it’s not possible. Everything is connected. Eventually the problems of the others affect me and affect what I want to do. I start again to realise that. I can do something with art, not just paint clouds.
le, fordi det er bare språket og en habitus jeg fikk med fra det tysktalende området som formet meg tidligere. Men begriper jeg mer enn dette – og mer enn språket. Jeg bare aner hvordan er virkeligheten der. Hvis jeg identifiserer meg verken med landet jeg kommer fra eller med de to øvrige, er det kanskje noe problem? Man kan vende om synsvinog si – ok, jeg identifiserer meg ikke med det og det, but what if it’s exactly the other way around – identification isn’t an active process of accepting something, but external pressure that shapes me through its activity just the way Buddeus’ material allows it to. I don’t have to desire an identity and it will be impressed upon me. Am I a refugee of my own identities? I may be. The thought of being forced to really leave the country I live in and finding myself in a cycle of citizenship applications and deportation doesn’t rid me of that identity which I had in connection to the place I lived in, but the situation I’ve found myself in actively imposes upon me a new identity. Even though maybe here I’m not distinguishing the different levels of something as complex as identity. Identity in regard to where I live, identity in regard to me, who is my own self, or trying to be my own self, identity in regard to what I do and with whom I do it – these aren’t different things that another group of visitors with the guide has appeared again, I thought for a bit that I would try to communicate with them again, that I’d have to beget some sort of contact, but I don’t give a shit, I seriously don’t give a shit, I don’t care at this point anymore, I’m here, but not for them if my identity is at this moment connected to language, I won’t untangle it in favor of something else in search of the center, guten Tag, hier ist die Zentrale der Welt und wir geben Ihnen die Identitäts-Nr. 1346675332677, diese erhalten Sie gegen eine Gebühr in Höhe von 34 €, ok?? In search of the center which is supposedly lost in favor of communication, of physical dependence on communication, of the consumption of information, of struggles between relevance and validity, of extreme socialization, of escape to another and of the incomprehensibility of the other, of the temptation of difference, the erotica of distance, the pleasure of unfamiliarity – a forty day electricity blackout and sufficient energy will do hoarse silence in a hoarse neighborhood vocal cords stop
I’ll try to weigh my words.
Name?
Ondřej Buddeus
Is it of importance for you?
Yes, I don’t like it when someone abbreviates its full extent. Ondra, for example, or in the singular genitive case I prefer without Buddeus, not Buddea, even though Czech grammar allows it.
Why?
I don’t want to simplify my name. It bothers me.
Why?
It’s not me anymore after that. My name reads Ondřej Buddeus and the version that someone else uses doesn’t agree with the term I acknowledge. It feels like the name of someone else to me then, which you can attribute different meanings to than those I have connected with it.
Don’t you feel the same thing happens no matter what a person calls you when talking about you? That your notion of yourself is just your own?
Probably, but I can’t do anything about that, to insist on the full extent of one’s own name is the only possible and hopeless attempt.
Do you think that it’s possible to interview yourself in such a way that it throws much light on who you are?
No, evidently not.
Why do you think so?
I won’t ask things in an unbiased way. That could mean I wouldn’t have courage to inquire about the substantial or that I’d egotistically show myself in a better light, or masochistically in a bad one.
What do you mean by the substantial?
I’m not sure. I guess that which makes me who I am.
What makes a dog what he is?
A dog? That’s a stupid question, all dogs are different.
Okay. I have a feeling that it’s gotten dark already, there isn’t a window here that I could tell by. Anyway: If what’s substantial is that which makes you who you are – then in regards to whom?
In regards to me and others.
Don’t you separate the individual who has your name apart from your body?
Yes, they clash. Sometimes.
Isn’t that bad?
It is. But it’s not always like that.
When isn’t it like that?
When both of them do what they want and it’s one and the same.
Can you be specific?
I’d rather not, I can only think of trivialities.
That doesn’t matter. Like what?
Food
Look you don’t have such a structured thought process, question answer question answer... it’s boring, it’s no big deal, the first thing that crossed your mind was sex (and don’t be a saint, you can imagine it with other girls than Hana, but you’d never try it and besides you’re not capable of talking about it when she’s standing right in front of you and is photographing you as if by chance. Nothing, don’t write, write, don’t write I don’t know nothing’s happening, where were we, that every person themselves agrees on this is completely trivial and that’s what you’re afraid of the entire time, that inside, you’re trivial and so is everyone else, that what people feel and go through isn’t interesting because everyone has it more or less the same – except you don’t know anything about it because you’re not an empath and until you dig through your own self you won’t even find out, filter yourself man. Only the problem is that this is your follow-up thesis on life and reality, you live by certain assumptions and notions and you have no idea, not a clue, whether they have anything to do with reality, so the best you can do is just try and write your literature, where you can experiment with it wilfully and freely – but it’s not some kind of wilfulness, there are a lot of mild mechanisms in this world that I can’t disrupt and have to listen to, otherwise it’s violence – okay, why not, but reality is much more complex and no definition of it can stand the test of reality or otherwise it gets raped by it. You could’ve noticed that in that vivisection with those stories you recorded. And most importantly, reality isn’t a mechanism, not even a mild one. Ketchup is mild. You think that sauce, that “perspective” you slather the world around you with, is something that changes reality, that will impress onto it, or to be more specific – that will cling to it? Not a chance. There’s a million litres of ketchup and one like the other. And they all flow together and they become nothing but filth. A point of view of the world is no good until it overturns into action. – Everything is action, even gawking at the internet is a sort of action – It’s a sort of passivity, consumption, two out of seven deadly sins: sloth and gluttony. – Undoubtedly so. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a chance. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change. Not a change hange hange hange hange change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change change hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hange hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang hang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang ang an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Commonly misconstrued words starting with the letter a: amature, abscence, abundence, accomodate, adviseable, antipenultimate, apparant, acceptible. I was born in 1984 as a son, great-grandson, grandson and cousin, currently I am a son, grandson, cousin, brother, husband, son-in-law. In the future I’d like to be a son, grandson, cousin, brother, husband, son-in-law, father, father-in-law, grandfather. After that I’d like to have passed on. I was born in 1984 in the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic, I lived in the Czechoslovak Federal Republic and currently I am a citizen of the Czech Republic. I was born in 1984 as a minor, from 2002 onwards I am of age. I was born in 1984 under the Capricorn sign under the Aquarius sign and the Scorpio sign. I was born in 1984 as Ondřej Buddeus, but if my grandfather hadn’t emigrated to Canada in 1968 and my father hadn’t been adopted by Jan Buddeus, my name wouldn’t be Ondřej Buddeus, but Ondřej Kern. I was born in 1984 but I’d have to look up in Wikipedia to find out if some other significant thing happened in that year.
COLOPHON
Ondřej Buddeus — A me
Is part of Ondřej Buddeus‘s participation in the Adaptation.
“But the need to adapt, uncoordinatedly, individualistically, without any authority, leader and order, to changes we initiate ourselves. Adaptation signifies now (asynchronously) and here (various places) an affinity with Utopia, which remains a non-place. Adaptation to conditions of reality which the collective dialectic of individuals without leader and order themselves create.“
Babi Badalov, Hafiz, Lia Perjovschi, Loulou Chérinet, Ondřej Buddeus, Ruti Sela, Shady Elnoshokaty, Vít Havránek, Xu Tan, Zbyněk Baladrán.
Curatorial Consultant Visual Arts:
Anne Faucheret
Translation: © Tereza Novická, 2013.
Graphic design: www.mutanta.com
We would like to thank all participants of the festival who took part in the project.
We would also like to thank
the following individuals:
Hana Buddeus, Věra Krejčová,
Antonín Mareš
Published by Steirischer Herbst Festival
GMBH Graz 2012 in collaboration with
tranzit.cz
© Ondřej Buddeus, 2013
ISBN: 978-80-87259-18-4
steirischer herbst festival gmbh
Sackstraße 17 / 8010 Graz / Austria
Supporters:
Land Steiermark Kultur
Stadt Graz Kultur
Bundesministerium für Unterricht,
Kunst und Kultur
Programm Kultur 2007-2013 der
Europäischen Gemeinschaft
Graz Tourismus
Sponsors:
Legero / con-tempus.eu
Steiermärkische Sparkasse
Immovate
