1 G

 

I was born in 1981 in New York. I lived there until I was twenty. I studied psychology. I came to Austria for a study abroad ten years ago. I lived in Salzburg. I moved to Vienna. I’ve been there for ten years. I studied art. I became a teacher. And getting my degree in art education.

 

2.1 G

 

was born. lived was. studied.  came study . lived . I moved to .  have been . studied .  became .  getting.

 

2.2 G

 

Pattern:

A) be born

B) live

C) be

D) study

E) come

F) move

G) become

H) get

 

2.3 G

 

Pairs:

A) study + become

B) come + move

C) become + get

 

2.4 G

 

Direction:

                Live →

                        study →

                                   move →

                                              become →

                                                             get.

arti

choke

flash bullshit can be spewed at any time. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but it’s yet to come down to it. It’s not that much of a blast and it especially pisses me off how those two girls on the left are pointing at me and laughing. Now they’ve turned around and gone away. I had to look at them, so I took a drink. If Zbyněk and Vít were expecting me to write a twelve hour lyrical ballad, they’ve got another thing coming. They probably didn’t expect that:

Problem party

 

It’s a problem to park

in a bird’s cage

it’s a problem to wear down the soul

it’s a problem to emerge from a water faucet

it’s a problem to demand

 

 

No, that’s bullshit, again:

 

Scroll down

All the rest

Of your life

Said the guy

In the chair

And switched off

His black mac.

 

Poems in English are prettier. Even if it’s completely the same bullshit. My ears itch. A poem about ears isn’t gonna happen. Differently then

 

Tables succumb to glasses

Glasses have a void and sunshine in their

hearts

Meatballs are caloric bombs

The best blunder is always yours alone

Buy nicer ears. Get 1 nose free.

Permanent wave. I would know, I had it on

my head.

A nice ass has her, not the other way

around.

Third time’s the charm and harm, add

cyanide.

 

We have the Václav Havel airport. This wasn’t in Havel’s time (it was named just like the prison.) We don’t have a Václav Havel prison.

I have this politically incorrect feeling...

 

Those who are in stitches die laughing.

Do you like trash? Welcome to civilization!

I find this girl as attractive as greyhounds

in a madhouse.

 

I don’t think anything bad about you, you

just induce me to:

 

anger, hunger, blood, a fist, a prong,

a tornado, poison and a roar.

Don’t start with me!

Ok, I won’t.

What will you have for starters? Your

mom, dude.

 

Here, I feel at home. Here, you can kill me.

Don’t be aggressive, you little cutie pie

you

or we’ll have to tear your pretty little

t-shirt.

Ma’am, the cable’s right over there.

 

Poetry isn’t in a hurry. It’s a beautiful day

in this neighborhood.

 

Time is jerking off. He’ll be a jerk off in no

time.

I have a brother and he’s so big, that when

he lifts a finger,

the entire nation gets plastered in shoe

polish.

 

ESPN – Entertainment and Stupidity Providing Network

 

[HALLO!!! – tut mir leid, aber ich kann mit Ihnen nicht sprechen. Und da ich Ohrstöpsel habe, kann ich leider auch nichts hören... Das ist halt das Problem. Um Mitternacht bin ich für alle Gespräche gern vorbereitet, manchmal passiert halt sowas...] Kick ass.

 

And they all lived happily ever after kicking ass.

Do I have the freedom to remain silent? Can I act like an animal whenever I feel like it? Yeah sure, in private. Until you get hungry. Suppose I imagine a person who’s been lifted out of context. He’s walking, suddenly trips and he’s lifted out of context. Okay.

Suppose I imagine a person who stole some bananas. A policeman catches him and says, “Sir, you stole those bananas, what are we going to do with you?” And the man says, “But sir policeman sir, you caught a person who stole these bananas. What are we going to do about it?” Or differently: There’s a man who steals the ontological crisis. A policeman catches him and says, “But sir, you stole the ontological crisis?

COLOPHON

 

Ondřej Buddeus — A me

 

Is part of Ondřej Buddeus‘s participation in the Adaptation.

 

“But the need to adapt, uncoordinatedly, individualistically, without any authority, leader and order, to changes we initiate ourselves. Adaptation signifies now (asynchronously) and here (various places) an affinity with Utopia, which remains a non-place. Adaptation to conditions of reality which the collective dialectic of individuals without leader and order themselves create.“

 

Babi Badalov, Hafiz, Lia Perjovschi, Loulou Chérinet, Ondřej Buddeus, Ruti Sela, Shady Elnoshokaty, Vít Havránek, Xu Tan, Zbyněk Baladrán.

 

 

Curatorial Consultant Visual Arts:

Anne Faucheret

 

Translation: © Tereza Novická, 2013.

Graphic design: www.mutanta.com

 

We would like to thank all participants of the festival who took part in the project.

 

We would also like to thank

the following individuals:

Hana Buddeus, Věra Krejčová,

Antonín Mareš

 

Published by Steirischer Herbst Festival

GMBH Graz 2012 in collaboration with

tranzit.cz

 

 

© Ondřej Buddeus, 2013

ISBN: 978-80-87259-18-4

 

steirischer herbst festival gmbh

Sackstraße 17 / 8010 Graz / Austria

 

Supporters:

Land Steiermark Kultur

Stadt Graz Kultur

Bundesministerium für Unterricht,

Kunst und Kultur

Programm Kultur 2007-2013 der

Europäischen Gemeinschaft

Graz Tourismus

 

Sponsors:

Legero / con-tempus.eu

Steiermärkische Sparkasse

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